Thank you

Thank you for reading my thoughts and commenting respectfully. ~S

Monday, April 30, 2012

Can we sedate mommy too? (Dental work on my 5 year old)

Big man turned 5 years in March. Thankfully his life, minus the first two weeks, hasn't consisted of any major medical procedures. He's had the typical croup, gastroenteritis, and bloody noses that kids can get, but nothing requiring anesthesia. Until today. Today was big man's first dental procedure other than check ups.

Last night I let him stay up until 9:30pm because he wouldn't be allowed to eat or drink anything when he woke up in the morning. He is usually in bed by 7pm. Dental appointment was scheduled for 8:30am and he had to be free of food and drink for at least 8 hours. Before he went to bed, we reminded him what was going to happen at the dentist in the morning.

When we woke up this morning I reminded him again, he couldn't eat or drink anything. Surprisingly he was ok with that and said, "because I'm going to the dentist." It was weird not being able to brush his teeth or wash his face either. I dressed him in loose clothing like they asked and prepared to get going. Little man was going to be staying home with daddy so it was just big man and I.

As we drove to the dentist office he happily sang along to Imagination Movers. He enjoyed being able to pick the music and not have to fight with his little brother. When we arrived we sat down in the cool waiting room. They have toys and video games set up for kids of all ages. Big man chose to play the Buzz Lightyear video game. After about 20 minutes, we were called back to one of the procedure rooms where I was briefed on what they'd be taking care of today. He will need a second appointment in a few weeks.

The assistant was very nice to big man and gave him a cup filled with what was just a few sips of clear liquid. He swallowed it all in one gulp like he was supposed to and then we were sent back into the waiting room. I tried to get him to sit down and watch a movie, but he was interesting in playing the Buzz Lightyear game. Once 20 minutes had passed and he wasn't getting sleepy, I made him stop playing. One reason being, I don't like him playing video games longer than that, but also was worried he wasn't going to get groggy enough.

At the hour mark, they called us back into the procedure room and had big man lie down in the chair. The assistant told him she was going to put this mask on his face and wanted him to tell her what flavor it smelled like. He never did answer her, but was a trooper and breathed through his nose like he was asked. I expected him to go to sleep right away, but boy did he fight to stay awake!!! They had tvs mounted on their ceilings and it was playing "How To Train Your Dragon" which is one of his favorite movies. So, his eyes would get really big, then blink blink blink and repeat. The assistant and I had to keep from laughing. She even stroked his forehead and said, "if you're sleepy you can close your eyes". He replied, "I want to watch the movie." Eventually he began saying, "Mommy I love you" over and over. I whispered back, "I love you too" a few times. When the dentist came in, I slipped away behind him so big man didn't see me leave.

Instantly I'll admit, I went to the bathroom because I wasn't sure if I was going to cry or not. Leaving my child in a room while on nitrous oxide was just about one of the hardest things I've had to do since his birth. After I composed myself I went back into the lobby. A sweet couple walked in with their little daughter and began talking to me. I was so thankful for their company and that I had my iPhone on me to distract me. The first 30 minutes were the longest. Thankfully the office has an open door policy, so I went back to take a look at that point. He was out and they were working great on his teeth.

No longer than 20 minutes later, they called me back because they were done and he was waking up. I walked in and instantly began praising him for being such a big boy and doing a great job. I'm not sure if he didn't know I wasn't in the room, and I'm ok with that. It took about 10 minutes between needing to bite down on the gauze and letting the laughing gas wear off before we could go back into the waiting room. It was in there that I got the full glimpse of what had been done in his precious little mouth. As I pulled the gauze out two little bottom teeth were missing and two molars (one on each side of his bottom teeth) were capped in a silver crown. The sight of this for some reason had be holding back tears again.

I know kids go through dental procedures like these on a daily basis, but it knocked me down. I felt like I was failure for some reason. The thought that my child had to have silver crowns, crooked teeth extracted and fillings for cavities hurt my mommy heart. Made me feel like I didn't protect him enough, even though I know I haven't been feeding him rocks and pure sugar. I brush and floss his teeth daily, water down his drinks, and feed him nutritious food. It's funny how as a mother, in the grand scheme of things, something like silver crowns and tooth extractions can bring forth such an emotional response. We base our self worth as mothers on how our kids do, or what happens to them.

Now that I've had most of the day to think about this, I know I haven't scarred him for life, or failed him in any way - but rather he maybe one day he'll thank me for getting this dental work. Hopefully he will have his adorable smile for many years to come. He has done well since coming home and even managed to eat dinner. Now my adorable 5 year old is falling asleep excited to see what the tooth fairy will bring! :)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Rare Disease Day 2012 - Together We are Strong.

February 29, 2012 is Rare Disease Day.

My mother was 24 years old when she was diagnosed with a rare diseased called Scleroderma. I was 2. She passed away July 17, 2008. I miss her everyday and hope to help spread the word about this disease and all of many other ones.

Together we are strong!

Friday, January 13, 2012

I lost weight... NO I do not want to find it!

(Note: I'm kinda bummed I haven't blogged in a week. Really wish I had this speech recognition software - it would make my blogging so much easier!)

I weighed in for the new year on January 2nd. I will not say here that number. A woman gets to keep some things private and this is one of those things. Perhaps once I've reached my goal or even my half goal, I'll reveal where I started. Let's just say my goal is to never have a 2 in front of my number ever again!!! EVER!

Well, I weighed in on the 11th (I'm aiming for every Tuesday, perhaps I will make a weekly blog). I stepped on the scale and waited nervously for the digital number to show up. I have been using MyFitnessPal every day to keep track of my food calories and exercise. We all know not to expect Biggest Loser style weight loss, so I just wanted to see any sort of change from January 2nd.

THREE POUNDS!!! I lost 3 pounds in a week! Can we say ecstatic? There's still a 2 in front of my weight number, but that's three less pounds behind the 2!!! :-D

Let it be said, I am NOT dieting. Dieting doesn't work for me because I have two small children and a husband who couldn't gain weight if he TRIED! Whether the true reason is I lack self control or not, being on something that doesn't allow flexibility doesn't work for me. I always end up cheating, feel bad about myself, and then give up. So, this time I'm focusing on tracking my calories. Which, if you know how much things are, that helps a lot! I find myself asking "do I really want a 300 calorie candy bar when I could eat some fruit, cheese and crackers for the same calories". Now, the 100 calorie Snicker bite I had was totally worth it!

I am working on making better choices for myself and my family.

Small changes do make the biggest impact!!!

It's been almost 2 weeks and except for my cup of coffee (or the rare diet soda - baby steps) I am drinking more water than I've ever drank on a regular basis. Yesterday's count was up to 55oz!!! Once you realize how many calories you DRINK vs eating, it makes it so easy to cut out the sodas, teas, juices, and etc. Granted, I will never cut out my milk. I love milk, but that's another post perhaps.

Even my husband has started to make some better choices without me asking him to. I sent him to the store the other day to buy us some spaghetti sauce. I figured he'd get something loaded with cheese or what not. What did he bring home? Ragu Organic Traditional Spaghetti Sauce!!! BUT, it was VERY tasty!

My other goal is to move more. I don't have a home gym nor do I have any money to afford a gym membership. One day I really hope to own an elliptical machine at home, but until then I'm doing what I can to move. So, I take advantage of what I do have: Xbox360 and a Kinect! Dance Central gets me up and dancing for an hour and has a workout mode so I can know how many calories I am burning too! Even Kinect Sports can cause a good burn, ever try the mini-game PinRush? I'm also walking around the neighborhood when possible, or if I go to the grocery store just for one thing, I walk up and down every single aisle!

The last thing I've been working on changing is food cut off. I have found most of my bored or mindless eating happens for me after 8pm. So, once 8pm rolls around, if I find myself hungry I drink more water. Most of the time it helps, but if my stomach really is growling, I do allow myself 1-2 saltines. It helps so much!!! I go to bed feeling proud of myself for not overeating and wake up hungry.

So, there you have it. The start of my weight loss journey to being healthier and happier with myself. I don't have a firm number goal, just know I want to be out of the 2's and have a way I want to look.

1st Goal Weight: 199lbs
2nd Goal Weight: 175lbs
Final Goal Weight: 150-160lbs

1/2/12: Starting Weight 2--
1/11/12: 3 POUNDS LOST!

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I scream, You scream, We all scream for Ice Cream!

I am an ice cream girl... 

I absolutely love ice cream - give me a table filled with desserts and I'd probably choose the frozen treat.

Perhaps I should mention I'm not your typical hot weathered ice cream girl... I literally CRAVE ice cream when it is cold - even more so if it snowing outside! While we were living in Colorado, my husband would always laugh because as soon as the first snow fell, I'd get a craving for ice cream. And going to get ice cream while it's snowing, well that's even better. (Kinda how I sometimes like a hot cup of coffee in the middle of summer).

A friend inspired me to take a look at my ice cream past. *giggle*

My first memory of eating ice cream is around 5 years old. Growing up in the South, the summers got hot and muggy real fast. So, my mother would take me to the military's pool on base EVERY DAY! I'd swim until I couldn't swim any longer (aka red eyes, wrinkly fingers and reeking of chlorine) Afterwards, we would head over the local McDonald's restaurant, along with most of the other mothers/kids from the pool. One of my first friends was made this way - I can't remember her name but she had the blondest hair I had ever seen and by the middle of the summer the chlorine had started to turn her hair a shade of green! You just don't forget that as a kid.

After eating my lunch (which I hope was nutritionally sound compared today) and running around the playground for nearly an hour - it was time for ice cream! And not just any ice cream, a TWISTED cone of vanilla and chocolate! The only thing I can really remember about this ice cream was that I loved eating the cone afterwards because it got a little soggy near the end. Yes, I was a unique child. 

However, my strongest memory of childhood was going to Baskin Robins for a special occasion and getting a scoop in a bowl of their PINK BUBBLE GUM ice cream! There was just something really exciting about a cup of ice cream with bubble gum in it. But here's the funny part: my grandma had once told me if I swallowed my gum it would stay in my stomach for X amount of years. As any young girl, I of course believed her! So, instead of swallowing the ice cream with the tiny pieces of bubble gum - I'd take a bite of ice cream, manage to eat only the ice cream, and then I'd spit out the bubble gum and set it on a lid or napkin until I had finished the whole scoop. Once I had done that, next to me would be a small pile of pink. Naturally, as a child it isn't at all disgusting to take that and put it into your mouth. Hehehehe! I loved having the gum afterwards even if it wasn't the good kind to blow bubbles. 

Once I got into middle school, the idea of spitting out pieces of gum didn't appeal to me anymore. So my ice cream taste "matured" and my favorite became a M&M blizzard from Dairy Queen. I loved the yummy vanilla ice cream and then periodically, the really cold hard pieces of M&M's. And usually once you got to the bottom of the cup, there were quite a few fragments of M&M's left so you got an entire spoon full! I think that perhaps I have a tendency to like things where you get more than just one thing. (Classic example: Blow Pops or Tootsie Pops). 

When I became pregnant with my first son, I had a very bad milk aversion the first few months. But I was able to stomach Chick-Fil-A's Ice Dream! Initially, this was just a way to get some calcium into me, but the texture of the ice cream got me hooked. If you've never had their ice cream, there really aren't any words to describe the texture. I could say it's kinda gritty, but that does not sound appetizing. The texture is definitely what I love about it the most. The flavor is wonderful, just a plain delicious vanilla - but the texture is what makes it a DREAM! ;)

Now, I don't eat at any of those places anymore (or on the rare occasion we do, such as Chick Fil A, I typically don't order ice cream). But I still do occasionally buy ice cream to have at home. When we are talking about ice cream to eat at home, there is nothing better than MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP!!! (even better if it has cookies in it too!). My husband and I are mint fanatics, we like almost anything that has mint - thinking that will be a blog some other day. I'm all about the white version of mint chocolate chip and the light green version looking ones - flavor is what count! 

One last thought about ice cream, before I forget. I've been thinking about my mother all day. When she was alive and was able to still eat ice cream - her favorite ice cream were Nestle' Drumsticks. I remember she would buy a box, and I was NOT allowed to have any! Sometimes she would share, but they were her very special indulgence in an otherwise very strict diet. Plus, she couldn't eat more than one or two in a year due to her illness. I've bought a box or two since she has passed, and I can totally understand what she loved about them. The peanuts on top with the chocolate and then the bottom of the waffle cone filled with chocolate are wonderful surprises! 

As I mentioned above, I love coffee during the summer - but truth me told I love coffee year round! I haven't met a coffee I didn't like. So when Starbucks created a coffee inspired ice cream line, I was pretty interested. Especially since I had a coupon that a made a pint of it cost $1! I chose to try the Caramel Macchiato (one of my favorite drinks from Starbucks)... and OH MY WORD - it was as though they just took the coffee and froze it. COFFEE AND ICE CREAM - there's really not much more I can say about it - if you like coffee, you get it.  

So.... Do you scream for ice cream?

If you're wondering about where this blog came from, I was inspired by a fellow blogger crying out to Edy's as to why they had to discontinue her favorite ice cream flavor. It got me thinking, and thus this blog. And if you're wondering, I probably only eat ice cream once a month or less! But, when I do get to, I enjoy it!